Friday, May 27, 2011

Worshipping From the Shadows

What drags you down? I find myself regularly being worn down by all sorts of things. Emotional struggles, concerns for my future, daily stress, countless factors that routinely grind my mind to its breaking point. This entire year has brought many frustrations for me, particularly in trying to determine where God is leading my life. I have had numerous days when I could scarcely force myself to leave my apartment, much less attend church or small group with other people.

Some people will claim that if you bring your troubles before God, He will take them all away. Perhaps a few more people believe that when we confess our struggles, God will simply put us at ease so we can at least function up to par. While these are definitely possible (although not necessarily frequent) situations, I think a different perspective is in order for the downcast Christian.

"Worship out of whatever pains you, concerns you, or absolutely delights you."
~Surprised by Worship, Travis Cotrell

I was skimming through Cotrell's book in the store last week, and this quote has since resounded in my head. We don't need to be carefree to worship God. When I get out of my car in the church parking lot on Sunday, I don't have any requirement to feel like praising God. I just need to realize where I am, and respond appropriately from there. If I am in pain, I praise the Lord for His power to deliver. If sorrowful, I praise Him for grieving with us.

God meets us where we stand, but we need to confess that truth. To sing songs in church with a fake smile on my face is to attempt to be deceitful before God, perhaps even arrogant. The truth is, I am so prideful that I have a hard time publicly revealing my weak human nature, especially when everyone else around me is cheerfully dancing and clapping.

I struggle with the other side of this argument- that God's grace should make us jubilant and overwhelm our worries. But the fact is, it doesn't always do that. We are indeed human, and we simply don't understand the magnitude of Christ's death for our salvation. We remain in sin and are distracted by things such as stress and pain. The point is that we can still worship Him when we don't feel like it.

I have to admit that I have arrived at church on Sunday morning to help lead worship without feeling any desire to do so. Sometimes I am burdened by frustration or stress, and other times I simply long for a couple more hours of sleep. That usually serves to only agitate me more, as I feel that I should be in the "right" mood. Fortunately, Christ knows our hearts whether we try to disguise them or not, and He praises the Father with us, be it in midst of pain or joy.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Your Martini Tastes Like Gasoline Pt. 2

I've written about this before, but in the last few days I've had a few new thoughts on the subject- food. Last time I talked about food, it was about how nice it was of God to make the taste appealing, instead of simply making eating an insipid daily necessity. With a little inspiration from the last couple weeks' sermons at my church, I realized that there's more to it than that. Food, in my eyes, has gone from something enjoyable to another opportunity to praise God.

Our pastor has been speaking on Romans 14- Paul's commands for the weak and strong in faith to stop condemning each other for their cockamamie differences. While not quite the main point, one thing that stood out to me was the demand to glorify God with whatever you might be doing. Whether it's abstaining from alcohol or enjoying a glass of wine, they're both sinful if not done with a fully persuaded conscience and the intent to praise God with the action. In short, if I eat a sandwich, I can not only enjoy the taste of it but I should also be lifting up God's name.

At this point I ran into a small roadblock. How the heck am I supposed to do that? It's simple enough to worship in song or prayer, or perhaps by tithing or helping out someone in need, but eating? Drinking? Tying my shoes?

Here's a starting point, and I have to confess that I haven't gotten much farther than that. In doing those things, acknowledge God's quality that relates to it. When I take a bite of a burger, I can remember that God provides life. When I wash my face I can confess that Christ has truly cleansed our sinful nature to stand blameless in heaven before the Father. When I buckle my seat belt, I can thank Him for protecting me from impure thoughts throughout the day.

Simple things like these can turn into constant reminders of God's infinite presence and even His persona. They become necessary windows of worship in lives that are so busy that focusing on Him becomes difficult. How can you glorify God through the routine actions in your day?

Friday, May 20, 2011

Episode VII: The Return of the New Hope

How do your actions change when something big is coming up? Perhaps you sit down and study for tomorrow's exam, even though you didn't look over your notes once in the last two weeks. Maybe you panic because you're not sure how Tuesday's jury is going to view your most recent shoplifting attempt. You might clean up the apartment before Mom and Dad arrive, since you certainly want them to think well of you, and a nice tidy living space might help that. Or maybe you can't fall asleep because the trip to the beach is looming and you haven't been this excited since Keanu Reeves and Nick Cage retired in the same weekend (*fingers crossed*).

It doesn't take much to realize that our lives can have very dramatic changes in a short period of time when we have the right incentive. Sometimes things instill dread in our minds, and other times we become so giddy with excitement that we can hardly function properly. It's a fairly normal thing, and there's been a particularly interesting case going around recently.

I'm assuming that most people have heard by now that Harold Camping has predicted tomorrow to be the date of the rapture, when Jesus returns to claim His followers. I don't want to discuss that specifically, but I find the effect his prediction has had on people to be curious. The reaction of Camping's followers ranges from a bold resurgence to spread the gospel (regardless of their Biblical support ), to a frantic preparation for the end times. Yet again, a far cry from what many of those people's lives looked like before they knew they would be gone tomorrow.

Even if we still have to get up and go to work on Monday, why does the concept of Christ's return not inspire us more? A widely accepted psychological fact is that a person awaiting something they don't know the date of will tend to anticipate it more strongly with every passing day. I am less likely to study on Monday for a test that I know will be Friday than I am for one that could be any day this week. However, I don't see the same effect in my spiritual life.

The entire concept of heaven is beautiful; being in God's presence is something so perfect to anticipate that it should cause everything I do to be in praise. The biggest difference between this and the response from those expecting Christ to return tomorrow is this- our lives should reflect the fact that we're looking forward to something, not fearing it. We should be so stoked that we can't contain it.

Perhaps this means being more open about our faith. Maybe it means being more honest with ourselves and acknowledging that we aren't living solely for God's glory, and then asking Him to help change that. For me, it means that I can freely worship without concern for my impurities, because one day I will be praising the King in person. And my praise will then be completely acceptable to Him. That's certainly something worth being so excited about that I can't sleep.

I'm not living for this life, cause I'm living for the next one.
~ Cross Movement

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

As Consistent as McAlister's Queso

I haven't posted in 4 months. I also haven't opened my Bible since church on Sunday, washed my sheets since Saturday, or brushed my teeth since this morning.

The problem is the last two are still regular habits. Every morning before I leave my apartment (assuming my normal schedule of wake up, frantically get ready, and run out the door to wherever I'm supposed to be in 5 minutes), I brush my teeth. I also do it before I go to sleep every night, and frequently at some point during the day. It's a habit that my mother instilled in me since I was young. I wash my sheets every Saturday morning, a slightly more recently developed practice but still a persistent one.

However, I obviously have lapses in other habits. It's fairly common knowledge that good habits take time to develop, yet they can be demolished with only a few I'll do it laters or It can waits. The same is true for digging into Scripture and praying. When I purposefully set aside time during my day for a week or two, it becomes normal and tends to continue for a while. But as soon as I take even one or two days off, it is much too easy to lose that part of my life altogether. Perhaps I'm viewing those things in the wrong way.

Instead of simply being good habits, I want my prayer life and tendency to crack open my Bible daily to be a constant desire. The end of Acts 2 says that the people who accepted the gospel devoted themselves to prayer and learning about Christ. I don't want to read my Bible out of habit. I want to desire the richness of God's teaching so much that I wake up in the morning yearning to read, and go to sleep at night wishing I had more hours in the day to speak to Him.

The only way for me to be transformed in that way is for me to accept that I am inconsistent, and I need Him to open my heart to desire Him more.